Lucy’s New Perfume

Yup, that’s right.  Lucy has a new fragrance.

The lovely House of Mutt is a welcome refuge in Wales where Lucy is pampered in style.  When she had a lame leg a year ago, she was given special privileges to boost her mood:  front seat “dibs” on the school runs each morning and plush pillows on her favorite section of the sofa.  Because she was relatively immobile and could not partake in daily walks, she was placed on a flatbed truck and driven into the sunshine aside the meadow where she could survey the activity of the sheep and dogs from her special perch. This was to exercise her mind in lieu of her body.

I kid you not.

And yet these idyllic visits to the posh pet palace in Wales always bring unexpected escapades.

There have been various disciplinary infractions over the years.  At her former and far more stern day care location, the aptly named Doghouse, I received news of  “mad dash” bird chases for which I was chastised, sheep poo ingestion for which I was disgraced, and an alleged dove killing for which I was charged £10.

I thought we’d left that behind… until now.  Today, I received reports via email of a new “messy” situation:

Just to let you know the heavenly creature is on her way and should be with you in about an hour.  

A word of apology before she arrives …..  

I always think it’s better to walk the dogs well before coming home rather than worry too much about grooming and keeping them unexercised.  That policy generally works brilliantly – until someone chooses to roll in something unpleasant on the heath ten minutes before setting off for home!  I’m afraid that someone was Lucy this morning! 

So, my apologies for any odeur de sheep-poo that lingers on Your Beloved’s furriness – I did my best in a few minutes but I fear she may need a bit of a scrub once she’s home.  

Alas, I cannot make this stuff up.

The “heavenly creature”, my “Beloved furriness” now radiates “odeur de sheep-poo”.  Maybe Calvin Klein can bottle it and create a luxury line for dogs.  I have Lucy’s advertising campaign photo all ready; somber and black & white just like the famous Eternity campaign:

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Perhaps I should be relieved she merely rolled in the poo.  The draconian Doghouse would be pleased,

At least she didn’t eat it!




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